You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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