Pants 0. Shit 1.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
