Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
if only i could text you this smell
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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