What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
