Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My liver is preforming stress tests.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
