how can u be prego again
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
