It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
