remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
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