Have you finally orgasmed yet?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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