I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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