It was confusing and full of hummus
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize