The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
