That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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