i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
