He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
