and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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