let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
