apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
