So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
