The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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