you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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