i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i barfeds in our rink
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
