I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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