my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
