Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
