Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
