I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
