even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
