My friends, they love my intelligence
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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