Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
