The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
