I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
