i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
