Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
