I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
