I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
