Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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