You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
