Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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