just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
