I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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