hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
