1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
