I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize