Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
