I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
