We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
