it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
All the doctor said was why
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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