the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
