Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
