Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone

(1-562): View more from California

there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue

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(979): View more from Texas

How sober do you have to be to donate blood?

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(607): View more from New York

Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?

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(909): View more from California

I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.

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(253): View more from Washington

He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".

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(425): View more from Washington

come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.

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(567): View more from Ohio

what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon

(419): View more from Ohio

well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here

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