Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
