I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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