hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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