You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
