FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize