We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
