I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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