All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket