the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.