How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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