ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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