I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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