I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
